wrote this with a fever. But emo has gotten the other side of me...... / Sunday, May 16, 2010
AS I WRITE THIS, I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABT THIS PERSON. SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW IMPORTANT SHE IS TO ME... EVEN TILL NOW, I BET SHE'S MUCH HAPPIER NOW WITH ME GONE. BUT WHAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW IS TT SHE LEFT A DEEP SCAR IN MY HEART. THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH EASIER 6MONTHS OR 1 YR AGO WHEN I DECIDED TO PUT AN END TO IT, BUT IT WAS HER TT MADE ME CHANGE MY MIND. BCOS I KNEW I LOVE HER... I REALLY DO. EVERYTIME AS I GO ONLINE... UNCONSIOUSLY I WILL DROP BY THE BLOG TT SHE MADE JUST TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR THE BOTH OF US WHEN WE (SHE) CLDN'T EXPRESS HER FEELINGS TO ME FACE TO FACE. IT'S STILL THERE... AND I JUST CAN'T HELP IT BUT BREAK DOWN EVERYTIME I READ THOSE POSTS SAYING TT SHE WANTS ME BACK. SUCH IRONY. THINGS CHANGE.. SHE GAVE UP ON ME, SHE GAVE UP ON THE RELATIONSHIP. 2 YRS AND THIS IS WHAT'S LEFT, THIS IS THE END RESULT OF OUR SO CALLED LOVE. I GUESS I'VE FALLEN TOO DEEP INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP. HOW FOOLISH OF ME TO EVEN THOUGHT OF MARRYING HER N LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER AFTER SHE WANTS ME BACK. IT'S HARD FOR ME. ESP SINCE NOW I HAVE TO ERASE THIS SO CALLED DREAM I HAVE BUILT TOGETHER WITH HER IN MY MIND. I FEEL TERRIBLE. SUPER TERRIBLLE. I HATE HOURS LIKE TT. IT MAKES ME FUCKING EMO. FUCK THIS PHONE TT IM USING TO TYPE THIS POST, BCOS IT'S ALL IN STUPID CAPTION WHICH I CANT SEEM TO FIX THIS PROBLEM. I WANT SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME... I WANT HER TO LOVE ME. BUT IT AIN'T THE SAME ANYMORE. SHE WILL NEVER SEE THIS...
/now that you are gone.
5/16/2010 03:48:00 AM
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